Who are we really? What are we here for? Why do we exist? Most of us can’t answer these questions because we live within a physical body that constantly needs our attention. “Life is what happens,” as we were told by John Lennon, “while we’re busy making other plans.”

What we do know is that we’re often trying to control the events in our lives to make it the best life possible. When we explore the answer to the above questions, the first thing that we realize is that we need to let go of the thought that we are in control of our lives. While we think we’re in control, we might think of a higher wisdom as an additional assistant to who we think we are.

But when we explore this more deeply, we can come to realize that this higher wisdom is more in control than we are. What we discover is that when we attentively listen to the realizations that come into our mind from this higher wisdom, we can begin to understand life more clearly, with more patience and more love than we thought we could express.

This is what waking up is all about. It’s the time when we begin to realize that we’re not as aware as we thought we were. This new awareness comes into our mind when we’re ready to accept that we don’t know everything. This is when answers can come in ways we hadn’t thought of, in a flow of energy that can make life sweeter, kinder, more respectful of our soul, than we could ever think would happen to us.

Life can then unfold in a way we would never have dreamed possible, taking us in a direction we would never have known. It’s only when we let go of what we think is our control—learning to patiently wait, trusting that only the higher wisdom can know exactly what’s best for us—that we can come into our ultimate expression of all that’s possible from within us. This is beyond our wildest dreams, because no one could have predicted such an outcome.

Only after patient listening, trusting, waiting for relief from any challenges that life gives us, can we experience true resolution. It’s only when we have completely let go of the outcome, while staying responsible for all that we must care for, knowing that any outcome is ultimately out of our hands, that we can begin to experience profound relief.

I usually ignore any gossip in the media, but something happened recently that made me realize how much we need to become more aware about the way the world works. We need to understand what is actually happening when we speak to one another, because it’s not easy to realize how powerful our words can be.

Every human being is able to think, and every idea that comes into our mind has an energetic force. We live within a creative universe that exists as interacting particles and waves of energy, so any energy we have is actually part of this flow of energy within the universe. Once we realize that we each carry this force of energy, we’ll begin to see that our words don’t just transmit sound, they also carry the energy of our thought.

In other words, there is great power in every thought we express, so everything we say has to be said with great care, particularly when we recognize the very intense positive or negative effect these words can have on our relationships. Any negative words we say, perhaps from anger or hurt feelings, can separate us from others and create distance between us, whereas any words with positive energy, especially when they’re transmitted with loving kindness, draw us closer into more cooperation with each other.

We can also notice that this affects how we receive what other people say to us. Once we understand that any words projected toward us have energy, we can begin to appreciate that the impact of this energy will resonate within us, sometimes in enduring ways. That’s why we can often feel hurt or sad long after someone has spoken or acted in a negative way, and yet we usually experience a good feeling after a conversation that’s been positive and respectful.

So when a famous television personality used twitter to write a racist comment about an African American woman, she obviously didn’t realize the power her words could have. This caused a powerful response from the Entertainment President of the television station that carried her program, who canceled this person’s television show. The impact of those negative words was so powerful that it caused great distress, to the general public and to the woman herself.

This is why Judaism advises us not to say “lashon hara,” which literally means “negative talk.” We’re told that it is forbidden to speak negatively about someone else, even if what we might want to say is true. This was explained by Rabbi Israel Meir Hakohen of Radin, also known as Chafetz Chaim: “Whoever of you desires life (chafetz chaim) . . . guard your tongue from evil . . . ”

So sad that so many lost their jobs because of a few words said in haste.